Swipe Left or Swipe Right

Every little girl grows up thinking there’s that one man in their life that they will meet when they’re in their teen years.

As a little girl you start drawing your plan out with lots of houses and a huge family. As a teen you start writing about it with music blasting trying to hide every emotion because your crush won’t text you back.
When we become that teenager so hopelessly in love with the idea of being in love and having a family it isn’t all that…

When we realize that The Little Mermaid was just a story and that prince doesn’t always find her and save her and bring her a better life…
As a female teen things go down hill from there because we grew up with this big ball of light titled “Love” and we let it float about like a bubble above us hoping for that true love.
Do we blame soicety?
Do we blame Disney for believing in the magic hoping it would all come true? Do we blame our parents because it wasn’t enough just to feed their kids, raise them politly, and put them in school?
What went wrong, better question yet; when did it all go wrong?

I learned at 14 I wanted more than just what I saw or heard.
I learned that I had to become my very own hero when I was 17.
Families don’t always stick together, and I was known to be a runaway when things became too hard.

I fell in love with a man much older than I, who was addicted to drugs, dangerous, and very powerful. I ran into his arms because he knew what love was, we had a connection like no one I had ever met; but at 17 you weren’t thinking that you were going to still be alive by the age of 20 you were just thinking about living in the moment…in that person’s arms.
He promised a house even though he didn’t have a job, promised a diamond ring, a marriage, and many babies but you and I both know that could have never worked out…
Do they teach you this when you’re a child or did parents sit you down in the living room or on the edge of your bed giving you a talk about life or safe sex?
What about after that?
Is there no guide how to live out there in the real world one issue at a time? Teachers help you and teach you certain things that your parents mention a time or two, but is that all?
You start to grow up believing life isn’t that difficult than math class or chemistry…

If your in your 20s, you know that’s not the case at all. You hear a lot of people say; “I wish someone told me it would be harder than this…
I wish someone wrote a book about all this…” It’s the shock that we are facing the unknown and some of us don’t face it until we hit our 40s.

At 17 you think you learned everything.
You learn about the drama at school, how to have sex, what not to look like on your picture day, what music puts you into a deep and dark hole, who your friends really are, eating alone at lunch everyday, and coming home to your nagging mother who doesn’t understand there’s more to a teenager’s life then just chores and making dinner.

Your mother yells at you daily about how you are just a child and know nothing about life and yet they don’t teach you anything about life instead they’re yelling about some bogus and how thankful we should be.
But why are they yelling when they should be teaching, guiding, and loving? Have our parents just not learned how difficult life is until they do scream, until we do ask these questions? Does this sound familure?
Has not every teenager on this planet agree with me to a point?

Why is it that when we hit our 20s it gets even worse?
We actually have to live it; not even knowing what’s there and what’s waiting.
With writing all this, does this make me sound like I’m complaining about what I need to face on a daily or am I just one of those people who has an open mind to questioning everything?

In our 20s if not younger; we suddenly are renting a room, paying all these bills hardly able to afford food a month, your roomates are at it again at 4 in the morning having sex with two on the way, your always fighting with your family because they just don’t understand, and your still up searching for work online when no one knows how to set up a real resume because the resume your high school teacher did wasn’t enough.
You try to be confidant and beautiful for almost any man to like you and hopefully one day love you… But even on the first date it starts with a great dinner, a first sloppy kiss, and doing the walk of shame all in one night; where’s room for all the other dates?
Is this what romance is now?

In your 20s your just getting by, trying to anyway.
So tell me; what happends 20 years from now; will I be that screaming parent still trying to figure out my life while throwing some advice in the air to my teenage kids and let them figure it out somehow on their own falling into the same mess I did, and my parents before me?

It was such a simpler time in the 1900s when there was still class, and ettiquet about the life you lived, courtship, God, modesty, and how to become a wife. Where is all that now?



5 thoughts on “Swipe Left or Swipe Right

  1. Life is complex Lena. Everything you’ve written here rings true. It’s just not about age though, I think, although that’s a big part of it. Who you are inside is so much deeper then any label or name-such as wife or teacher or student.
    Remember your heart is precious, as is most others’ as well. Parents don’t always have all the answers, they just all love their children the best the know how.
    In my recent years I’ve learned two important things.
    One, I realized suddenly one day that people don’t necessarily see or response to life and situations the way I do.
    When your coming of age your told to find who you are. Once you’ve got that pretty much down you start wondering why your always fighting an uphill battle, there’s always conflict. Why? Well I have realized that every person has a different perspective, different experiences too. Some may be similar or very similar, and others completely opposite. I can’t expect everyone to be on the same wavelength as me all the time.
    Secondly, I have also learned that even if you love someone( bf/gf, spouse, sibling, friend, parent, child…etc) Even if you love them to the universe and back, it’s sometimes still not enough.
    Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they are good for you. One may love another so much that they would be willing to die for them, but unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily mean they can give the other what’s needed and vice versa.

    I hope this helps. I also hope it’s not upsetting for you in anyway.
    I think it’s beautiful how your expressing all these emotions. Keep it going.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have exactly written what i feel and yes as a teenager i do understand all of this . I wont tell u how to live next but certainly say~ keep writting all this stuff and yeah, u r awesome.;)💗

    Liked by 1 person

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